Monday, December 12, 2011

The Roller Coaster of Marriage

Growing up when I thought of marriage I would always relate it to fairy tales such a Cinderella. You wait for your prince charming to come and find you and you live happily ever after and ride into the sunset together and live happily ever after. No one ever tells you how hard marriage can be. It is like a roller coaster with lots of ups and downs. Now when I think of marriage I think of it as a child having to grow. The first year is like the first year of a baby's life. Your so in awe with it and everything is so new, exciting, and cute. Your head over heels in love and so excited that you met the one person that you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Then comes the second year which is known as the terrible two's and your mind keeps jumping to the thought of :What was I thinking?!?!?Reality sets in and those things you use to think were so cute start to drive you crazy. But that's what marriage is trying to find a balance of sanity and crazy. Then there are so many other factors that can effect your marriage.

Children: They change your marriage and they change you. You still are yourself but then you become a parent to someone else thus creating a whole new version of yourself. So when you are a new verison of yourself it will also bring you to a new version of yourself. Sometimes a marriage can take a back seat because you are so focused on the new little person who has became your world. You have to remember that your marriage is just as important as your kids. Learning the balance of being a spouse, parent, and still being you is the hardest part. I still work at it everyday.

Finances: Money. It plays so much in a marriage. What if one of you is a spender while the other is a saver. Having a difference in how the household money is handled can be very hard on a marriage. This was one of the hardest things to try and overcome in my own marriage. With us what has seemed to be working lately is compromising and putting a balance on how you spend and save.

Basically it all comes down to good marriages don't just happen. They take work it is a process. Its not going to be a fairy tale but its not going to always be a nightmare either. I've been married for almost 3 years and I am just starting to understand that marriage is a give and a take. The only thing I am 100% sure about at the end of the day about my marriage is that I love my husband.

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